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Paper Lions and Identity Crisis

It was about the 17th email I deleted before I realized He was saying something.

I had written a blog back on Father’s day about my dad, how he has inspired me and what he means to me. The spam bots kept sending me “blog comments” to approve from that one blog. About 30 of them. It took 17th before I realized He was trying to say something.

WORDPRESS: FATHER’S WORDS

“WRITE MY WORDS”
Ok, God I hear you. Sorry it took a minute or 27, but I hear you! Here it goes…

I want to hear God’s still small voice all of the time. That makes me comfortable. That makes me know I am heading in the right direction. Clear verbal communication. I’ve often wanted God to control me but control by it’s very nature isn’t love at all, and since God is love He can never act outside of love. Ever.

I’ve learned more then ever in the last few years God doesn’t always speak in the same language. He can use anything to communicate but He wants our constantly focus and to live with our ears open and in constant listening mode. Often in the hustle we can dismiss His words as if we aren’t aware of Him.

Some how, it makes me feel more comfortable to just have Him tell me what to do. A while back God showed me I was in a little “bubble” to protect me while I was maturing in a certain area.
One day, He removed it.

“It’s time to remove the crutch so you can use discernment.”

Great… 

In the past, I haven’t been the most confident in my discernment because I’ve made some choices that have caused a lot of pain in my life, yet through those valley’s, He is gracious to remind me that He is constantly looking to lead me into a greater knowledge of His love and to lead to a greater understanding of my anointing and identity. In the middle of the storm, He has given me the authority to calm the seas through intimacy.

I found a paper lion in Kai’s book bag, one he had cut from an organized template and glued together half hazardously. I smiled when I saw it and promptly put it on the fridge as an art display of his best work of the week. Not once did I think how it could have been better or question the spacing between the paper mane cut outs. I just loved it because I loved him and I imagine how he felt creating it. How focused he must have been holding the extra large glue sticks in his 6 year old boy hands and placing each lion features where they it was intended.
As the magnet gripped the refrigerator with the paper lion in-between, I realize God was speaking. He was showing me how He felt about me, how He is proud of who I am because of who I am not because of how “well” I do things. He has cultivated a spirit of excellence in me and I want to honor Him but I can live child like in His love and see myself as He does: His princess.

 

Evernote Snapshot 20140826 132623

Perfection is a beast that needs to be cut off at the knees and promptly dismissed from our lives.

I never expect perfection from my children and I love seeing their creativity in places where they have managed their freedom well enough to have independence. Leilie wears mismatched socks to most days to school and Kai thrives on little boy mud pie adventures. Creativity and freedom at it’s finest. 😉

Our identity as sons and daughters is like a seed God placed in us that sometimes our own introspection rips the leaves from and dissects. We look around the room of life and compare fruit with other heart gardens, dismissing our own until we have an identity crisis, one our own disbelief has created.

About a year ago Mylie Cyrus released her song “Wrecking Ball.” I have heard the song once maybe and I have yet to see the video. At the time the news feeds were spent writing letters to her dismissing her and shaming her for her behavior. I wrote something then that still grabs my heart and inspire me to want to understand how knowing His loves gives us freedom in our identity as sons and daughters to see someone for who God made them.

‘When we don’t know who we are, we start leaking our identity crisis on everyone. It’s just that some of us have bigger staged than others. What the real truth is that we spend more time judging people then loving them. Sometimes when we see other people crises, it actually reveals the crisis that is going on in our own hearts. We spend more time bad talking people than we do praying for them. People are crying out, people who are lost and blind. It’s time for us to step up, for us to bring them before the Father and ask for the veil to be lifted. People are so dearly loved by Him and not because they “have it all together” He is not waiting for them to “pull it together” Sometimes He is waiting for us to be him to them. IF they felt he Love from God they would leave radically changed. Praying Down Love encounters. In my heart and in the people God places in front of me. “

And now for the hurts so good question….Who and what are you leaking on?

Knowing how He sees us gives us freedom to hand Daddy God our paper lions and dance around the room in praise.Most times, our worse critic is ourselves, but when did we begin hating something God called beautiful? How is it that we hate something God created?
When did that become something so normal?
When did the ones who know love, Christ followers, being to hate, shame, and see themselves through the eyes of disappointment instead of radical love?

Those are where roots begin and the need to asking the Father some hard questions is vital. Ask Him to show you where these things began in you and learn to soak in His love!

When we don’t understand our own identity, our misidentify gets places as an ugly jacket on someone else. We see them for things we don’t agree with instead of who God made them to be. Mylie? God gave her gifts. He did. And I honor the gifts He placed in her.

God isn’t looking at your life in disappointment. When you accept His gift of Love He sees you through the finished work of Jesus. He made you. He isn’t disappointed in His creation. He is looking at you and is inspired to co-create, to imagine, to dream.. with you. So get out your glue sticks…

Love Always,
Julie

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