The Orange table and I had a pep talk today.
They didn’t know it was coming. I didn’t either.
We sat together at the 3 foot high table, each of us in a blue plastic chair. Their wide eyes blinked at me slowly as I talked.
I looked over my shoulder. There were 6 colored circles, each representing a table. Each one had tallies under them.
The Orange Table was in last place.
“We need to pull it together” I said, scooting my chair a bit closer to the table.
The room was loud and full of lunch munchers, each at a different color labeled table. On every wall there were a rainbows of colors, projects, and shapes, but the only one that matter to me was Orange. With in 3 minutes of being in the room, the Mrs. had already said she was in the mood to give out more points.
“This is our chance guys. We need to work together as a team to get more points.”
I leaned into them as I talked and my son held my hand tightly.
When I first came in the room, he was covered in yellow paint and glitter from an art project earlier that day. With one hug and a kiss it rubbed off on me. He was at that table and because of that, I had an invested interest in their success. With a big-huge-gigatic-excited face he told me about The Prize. The Prize for the most points.
TWO huge scoops of popcorn.
A prize worth the effort to the four 5 year-olds. All they needed now was to pull it together and work as a team.
I asked them what they needed to do to get the popcorn.
The cutest-number-one-stand-talking-offender you have ever see gave me the answer “Be good.”
I do this a lot. I’m vague in my hopes, vague in my dreams and I place a blanked statement over things never actually freeing my mind for success. “Be good.” was so broad. They needed something they can grab hold off…They have the vision but they needed more
“First rule: glue you hinney to the seat. Second, open your ears.” I had them all unlock their ears taking imaginary plugs out and with giggles they enthusiastically popped their ears forward. We all put our hands on each other’s like the kids in movie The Mighty Ducks. We were mighty.. They felt it.
“The most important thing to remember is we can encourage each other, when we forget what we should be doing we can remind each other and remember the prize.” I spoke like I would be sitting at that kindergarten table with them. Like I would be there going through the ups and downs of the day. Like I took would receive the beloved popcorn prize… but really, I feel that way because my son is there. I want them to win. I want them to succeed.
In all these moments as a mother these are my favorite. These are the moments that God uses my kids to teach me about me. To teach me about Him. He sits at the table with me, with the people He has put in my life and says “I’ve given you the tools you need to receive outragoues blessing… You need to work toegther and I will be coaching you all along the way.”
Being a mother has taught me more about God than anything else in my life. Maybe it’s the heart pull from two little being who represent my heart that live outside of my body. Maybe it’s the way they run up to me with excitement, or the glitter that I’ve covered in when I leave them.
Either way, I am smitten.
I realize my feelings for them aren’t even a grain of sand for how God feels for me. That sits at the surface of my heart, like I know this information logically but it hasn’t sunk in fully. I can know it in my head but I am hungry to know it in my heart. To feel it in my heart fully. This is a season He is drawing me into. I am realizing there is much more to understand about His passion for me, His love for me, than I have ever really realized.
I knelt hugging Leilie today and thought about how amazing it feels when she loves one me. It’s raw and messy. Sloppy kisses and silly faces…..but I love it. The things her I am talk about are most often are not deep, but I just sit and stare at her amazed I get to be Love to her.
There are moments in our lives we can miss when we rush, miss when we don’t go slow and just listen. When we stop watching the way our kids smile or what makes them light up, we miss something about them… We miss something about ourselves.
There is so much beauty in the slowness. Of living life aware of what the Father is saying, of living life aware that He really likes simplicity. When I hugged her today I hugged her wanting her to feel the love of God through me. Intentionally.
This word has followed me this year. Intentional. Loving intentionally, seeing people intentionally, listening to the Father speak to be intentionally. I realize as God has been unlocking many different languages to me that He is speaking through, how much of my life I missed what He was saying. He speaks in a still small voice because He desires the intimacy that comes form being a close listener. If He didn’t want relationship with us, He would move so much differently. He would be so different, but most everything in our life and heart He unlocks through relationships. Relationships with Him, with people, with family. His heart is for people, coming together, growing together, working together. Being a family together.
I pushed my seat away from the Orange table realizing, this table had an advantage. They might be in last place now but over the weeks what could they accomplish because they had leadership in a different way than any other table. What would they accomplish if they became listeners? He uses the most simple things to talk to me. Even the stand-talker, by whom He reminded me, I can learn far from listening than talking.
He is always speaking to us and we have a choice to listen, and to learn how to be a listener. I never really understood this in my relationship with Him. I was so “la-te-da” that I never made being a listening of His Spirit a priority. Because of that, I use to only hear something from Him every few weeks. MAX.
A few weeks ago He began sending doves to my yard. It began with me asking for one and it showing up ten minutes later in a tree near my office. She moved a few minute later to something more personal, my car. Most mornings now, I stand on my tips toes looking over my kitchen sink through the window to see is she is in my back patio garden. Sure enough 9 times out of 10, she is there. Butterflies show up there too, but not just any butterfly, my favorite kind. One time for ten days straight there were a pair of doves and butterflies both there at the same time. Every morning. For 10 days. What is He saying in those things? He is speaking to my heart, and at other season in my life I totally would have just passed it off as coincidences.
I want to remind you.. He is really intentional, with every butterfly kiss He sends you.
Its not a coincidence Him sending things your way to love on you. He is a lover, and He speaks in many different ways. Softly and sweetly. It’s our job to learn His languages 😀 To learn to pursue Him for who He really is instead of forcing him into a box we’ve made for Him that looks and smells like a man.
We can have those Orange table moments, and see them for what they are: intentional moments He has planned to show us how He loves us. We can slow down and become listeners of His Spirit. We can live so close to His heart that when He speaks, in the stillness, in the quiet, we recognize Him because we live in a place of intentional listening, anticipating His love.
Isn’t HE THE CUTEST?! gosh, I love this little boy!
For this little dove I prayed, about ten minute before God sent her to my tree. I opened my door a little while later and there she was.. on my car. 😀